Why Relationships Are Important

Pastor Dan Walker, PhD, MDiv

Introduction: Beginning a Series on Growing Great Relationships

Today we begin a new message series called “Growing Great Relationships.” Each of us has a variety of relationships with other people in our lives, and these relationships differ in depth, commitment, and influence. Some relationships are brief and casual, while others shape us deeply over time.

Each of us has casual acquaintances, people we know a little bit about but not too much. With things like Facebook growing in popularity, people have more and more of these casual acquaintances, oftentimes including people you’ve never met but who know someone you know. These connections are numerous, but they are usually shallow and limited in influence.

Then we have friends, people we communicate with regularly in our workplaces, neighborhoods, schools, or church. We usually have fewer friends than casual acquaintances, and these relationships involve more interaction and shared experiences. Friends often walk with us through everyday life in meaningful ways.

Then we have close friends, people that we share with on a deeper level what’s going on in our lives. Most people don’t have a lot of close friends, but our close friends are important to us and some are closer than others. These relationships often involve trust, vulnerability, and long-term commitment.

Relationships can bring us great joy or deep distress. We can’t control what the other person in a relationship does, but we can control what we do. Because of that, relationships become one of the most significant areas where our faith is lived out.

The Bible has a great deal to say about relationships with other people. God wants us to grow in our ability to relate to people the way He wants us to. That’s what this message series is all about, learning to grow so that our relationships can be everything that God intends them to be.

Today, my first message in this series is entitled “Why Relationships Are Important.” This message will look at some of the basic truths that the Bible teaches us about the importance of relationships. These truths are foundational for understanding how God works in and through our connections with others.

Unfortunately, our society is having more and more problems with relationships. Approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce, and people often view marriage as disposable. If it doesn’t work out, many assume they can simply find somebody else.

Facebook and other online networks have become a substitute for growing real relationships. There may be some good things about Facebook, but the number of Facebook friends you have or the number of posts you make really doesn’t tell whether you have great relationships. In fact, a recent study of Christian college students showed them to be spending almost 20 hours a week on social networking sites.

Over 50% of the students felt that excessive time with their online friends was causing them to neglect other important areas of their lives. These trends reveal a growing disconnect between connection and genuine relationship. So the question becomes, what does the Bible have to say about relationships?

Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV) Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

The most important thing in life is your relationships, first your relationship with God and secondly your relationships with other people. Jesus makes it clear that loving God and loving others cannot be separated. So today, we’re going to look at why relationships with people are so important.

God Made You for Relationships

Man didn’t simply evolve from chimps, God created us in His own image. When you look at God, you see not one but three persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, living in perfect relationship. Because of that, when God created man, He did not create him to be alone.

In the beginning, the first human being created by God was named Adam. When God saw Adam alone, all by himself on this earth, God made a clear evaluation of Adam’s condition. God determined that something essential was missing.

Genesis 2:18a (NIV) The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone …"

God had created Adam to live in relationship with other human beings. To be alone, to be lonely in life, is not good. From the very beginning, God designed people to need one another.

Relationships Meet Needs

Genesis 2:18b (NIV) “… I will make a helper suitable for him."

The simple fact is that no person has been created by God to make it by themselves. We need other people in our lives to help us fulfill God’s purposes. Independence was never meant to replace interdependence.

In this case, God was going to make a spouse named Eve for Adam. God calls Eve a helper suitable for Adam, someone designed specifically to complement him. Eve would meet Adam’s need for help in the task assigned to him by God of managing the garden.

Not only would she meet the need, but she would be a suitable helper, one who was created to fit together with Adam and form a team. On the flip side, Adam would meet the needs of Eve and be suitable for her as well. Relationships meet needs by God’s design.

Relationships Provide Strength

The relationship between Adam and Eve was that of a husband and a wife. However, the principle that God made us for relationships applies to all the other kinds of relationships that we have in our lives. God’s design for relationship extends far beyond marriage.

Jesus and Paul were not married, yet relationships were an important part of their lives and ministries. They lived in close community with others and relied on those relationships for support and encouragement. God uses relationships to strengthen us for His work.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
A relationship with another person implies that there are at least two people. When two people work together, the result should be better than if each one just worked by themselves. Relationships multiply strength and effectiveness.

If a person gets into trouble and falls down, a friend can help him up. But if there is no relationship, then who will help you when you’re in trouble. Relationships provide strength that we were never meant to generate alone.

Living Out These Principles in Everyday Relationships

Even though we each have different kinds of relationships, the basic principles of growing great relationships apply to all of them. What we are going to learn in this series will apply to marriages, parents with children, relationships with other believers, and various kinds of friendships. God’s truth about relationships is universal in its application.

This morning, we take a moment to ask God to help us learn what He wants us to about relationships and apply it to our lives. We depend on His Word and His Spirit to guide us. Growth in relationships always begins with humility before God.

God Brings Relationships into Your Life

Let’s go back to the story of Adam and Eve in the book of Genesis. Genesis has been called the seed bed of the Bible because it contains the seeds of biblical principles that are seen throughout the rest of God’s Word. What we see in Genesis shapes everything that follows.

Remember, God had said about the first man Adam, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” God did not leave Adam in that condition but acted intentionally on his behalf. God took the initiative to bring relationship into Adam’s life.

Genesis 2:22 (NIV) Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

God not only made Adam for relationships, but He brought the right person named Eve into Adam’s life. God created Eve just the right way to be in relationship with Adam and brought them together. God is intentional and personal in how He forms relationships.

God Places You in a Physical Family

Psalm 127:3 (NIV) Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.

Children are gifts from the Lord, and we can look at this truth in two ways. First, God causes you to be born to your parents and placed you in your birth family, and it was not accidental. Whether your family was wonderful or difficult, God placed you there for His purposes.

Secondly, if you’re a parent, God gave you the children you have. Of all the parents in the world these children could have, He chose you to parent them and He chose your children for you to train to follow Him. God’s sovereignty extends to family relationships.

If you’re married, the person you’re now married to is God’s choice for you. You may have made mistakes in the past or gotten outside of God’s will in marriage, but God still has a plan for you to grow in your marriage with Him. God works redemptively through relationships.

God Places You in a Spiritual Family

Not everyone is created to be married and some people are not married their whole life. Yet every believer has been placed in a spiritual family by God. No believer is meant to live the Christian life alone.

1 Peter 1:22 (NLT) You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart.

When you become a believer, you become a child of God and a member of God’s family. That makes other believers your brothers and sisters. God intentionally connects His children together.

When you become a new believer or come back to God after wandering off, God will place you in a specific church family. You might think you just stumbled across it or that a friend invited you, but God was behind it all bringing a spiritual family into your life. God brings relationships into your life.

Valuing and Protecting the Relationships God Gives

Since it is God who brings relationships into your life, we must treasure and do our best to maintain those relationships in both our physical and spiritual families. It’s easy when difficulties arise to simply bail out, but that’s not God’s way. God calls us to perseverance and growth in relationships.

Relationships in your spiritual family are important, and God wants you to work on growing and maintaining strong relationships in your church family. These relationships are part of His plan for your spiritual growth. Faith is meant to be lived in community.

God Has Purposes for Your Relationships

When we think about our relationships, we usually focus on what’s in it for us. We ask how we can better enjoy or be helped by a relationship. However, since God created you and brings relationships into your life, God has purposes for your relationships.

We’ve already talked about how relationships can meet needs and provide strength. Now let’s look at two additional purposes that God has for our relationships. These purposes move us beyond self-interest to God’s greater plan.

Relationships Build Character

1 John 4:20-21 (NIV) If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

These verses tell us that our relationship with our brothers is related to our relationship with God. If you want to grow in your relationship with God, then you must also grow in your relationship with others. Spiritual maturity is revealed relationally.

It’s in relationships that we learn the difficult lessons of patience, forgiveness, humility, and kindness. All of those qualities build Christ’s character into our lives. God uses people to shape us into the image of Jesus.

Relationships Are a Witness

John 13:34-35 (NIV) "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Jesus tells us that people will know we are believers by our love for one another. Our relationships in our church family provide evidence to unbelievers of the reality of our relationship with God. Love is the defining characteristic of disciples of Jesus Christ.

If you’re married, your marriage relationship should be a model of Christ’s love for the church. A desire to be loved and to be in a loving relationship has been placed in everyone’s heart by God. Seeing God’s love lived out in relationships is a powerful witness.

Growing Together Through Church Community

A great way to build relationships in the church family is through Life Groups. These groups provide a place to grow in love for God and for one another. Spiritual growth accelerates in healthy community.

Participating in a Life Group allows believers to study God’s Word, pray together, and support one another. Through these shared experiences, character is formed and faith is strengthened. God uses community to transform lives.

Conclusion: Why Relationships Truly Matter

Relationships are important because God created you for relationships. God brings the relationships that you need into your life at the right time. Nothing about your relational life is accidental in God’s plan.

God places every believer in a church family so that you can grow. Your relationships will help you grow to become more like Jesus and show God’s love to others. When we honor relationships, we honor God’s design.

📘 Continue the Journey

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